A USMC sniper was real good at his job, and he had a method. He would yell out some insult at the enemy and when someone stood up to reply, BANG - one less insurgent!
After every mission the company commander would ask "How many insurgents have you shot today?"
However, on this particular day when asked about the number killed, he reported "Five killed and I let one go, sir."
"Let one go?" roared the company commander. "What do you mean, you let one go?"
"Well, sir, I yelled out 'Osama is a Homo!' Then this big insurgent stood up and yelled 'Hillary is a Bitch!' I just couldn't shoot a fellow Republican!"
This is an actual e-mail from a senior watch officer monitoring the battle in Fallujah...
Gents,
There is a legitimate, credentialed, Iraqi Reporter named Fathi Ghanim Al Iraqia attached with 4th BN, 1st Bde of the Iraqi forces (with 6th Plt?).
Earlier today he took some pictures of 4th BN Iraqi wounded. The Iraqi soldiers he was with took exception to him doing this. He says he deleted the photos from his camera, but the Iraqi soldiers were still incensed and locked him in a closet somewhere in their zone.
He is calling the MEF PAO on his cell phone from the closet.
We need to get him released.
Please get a hold of the LNO there and work the issue. Let us know your progress and when you find him.
Semper Fidelis,
During a commercial airline flight a Navy pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.
When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related paraphernalia.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Navy pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "Damn! And all these years I've been chewing gum."